


The visitor

by Vinushuka



Series: Life inside and outside Dir en grey [9]
Category: Dir en grey, Sukekiyo (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:38:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7247008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toshiya's key becomes Kyo's new amulet in his struggle to continue life without him. Uta brings welcome variation to Sukekiyo's studio work by bringing his little brother for a visit. He also saves Kyo's face when he cannot sing Kugui and invites him to a dinner. Maybe there is a little light dawning at the end of the dark tunnel Kyo has been struggling in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The visitor

After Toshiya had left Kyo returned to the living room sofa and stared with empty eyes at the small key lying on the table. The key had become the symbol of his failure and he hated it because of that. But when he picked it up he suddenly realized that Toshiya had held it in his hand only a few minutes ago. He felt it with his fingertip hoping that it would still be warm but it wasn’t. Actually it didn’t matter because now he had something that had belonged to Toshiya. He pressed the key on his lips and burst into tears. This was all he had left in addition to the memories, the wonderful but painful memories.

      Kyo took the key, hung it on a chain and placed the chain around his neck. This way he could always have it close by and maybe someday he could give it back to Toshiya. The thought made him feel a little better although he didn’t really expect it to happen. Toshiya had made it clear enough that he didn’t want Kyo to wait for him. He would never come back.

      Writing had always been Kyo’s lifeline and tonight it saved him again. He sat at his desk and poured down on paper all the anguish and frustration he felt towards himself and all the joy he had felt tonight without actually deserving it. The more he wrote the more impossible it felt to continue his life without Toshiya. At the darkest moment of despair he remembered Toshiya’s words about keeping in touch. Toshiya didn’t want to close Kyo out of his life completely. He could keep the Dir en grey part of him as if nothing had happened. Kyo could always figure out ways to talk to him and hear his voice even if he couldn’t touch him anymore like tonight.

      The thought of being deprived of their physical contact made Kyo cry again. He could almost feel Toshiya’s skin under his cheek and his steady heartbeat. He tried to draw the image of that moment on paper but it didn’t come out right. He crumpled the paper into a small ball and tossed it on the floor, which was already littered with other failed drawings and poems.

      The message arriving in his cell phone interrupted Kyo’s struggle. His heart skipped a beat when he thought that he would hear something from Toshiya, but then he realized that he was still on his way home on the train. The message was from Uta. He was asking if he could bring his brother to see the studio and the team. It would only be a short visit in the morning as he would have other engagements in Tokyo during the day. Kyo couldn’t see any reason to deny his visit especially when Uta had bothered to ask permission for it. So Kyo sent him a message welcoming the visitor and wished Uta goodnight.

      This little episode somehow opened the mental lock that had forced Kyo to write and draw Toshiya. He took a deep breath, collected his sketches and poems in a pile on his desk and cleaned the floor. He could review his output later when he had calmed down and rested a while. He stalked to his bed room to make the bed with clean sheets and after that crawled under the covers feeling completely exhausted. It didn’t take long before he fell asleep clutching to the key on his chest.

      The morning sun woke him up by shining too hot on his back. He had forgotten to pull down the blinds of his bed room window. He had still plenty of time before he would have to leave for the studio. He headed to the bathroom only to find a pile of wet towels and crumpled sheets in his hamper. He pushed the laundry into his washing machine trying not to think about the events of last night. He would do that later when the pressing matters of today’s rehearsals would be taken care of.

      When Kyo arrived at the studio Takumi was already there working with his computer. Kyo exchanged a few words with him concerning their schedules. Takumi would join Dir en grey’s Japan tour but he would not travel to USA or Canada, which gave Sukekiyo some leeway in scheduling.

      Yuchi arrived shortly after Kyo looking energetic as usual. “Hasn’t Uta arrived yet?” he asked when he was setting up his instruments ready for the rehearsal. “We had a beer together with his little brother last night and he wanted to show the studio to him. Did he call you about that?”

“Yes, he sent a message about it and I told him it was okay”, Kyo replied checking his watch. It wasn’t typical for Uta to be late.

“By the way his little brother isn’t actually very little”, Yuchi snickered.

“Is he a sumo-wrestler or something?” Kyo asked suddenly interested. Tall men fascinated him.

“No, he plays American football. They are having some kind of get-together in Tokyo this week.”

      Just when Yuchi had finished his account the door opened and Uta entered the studio followed by a guy that received Kyo’s full attention. He was very tall compared to an average Japanese guy and extremely well built, not fat but muscular. He had a friendly face, but he wasn’t particularly beautiful. His nose was a bit crooked as if it had been broken in a game.

“Good morning everybody! Please meet my brother Ryota”, Uta introduced him. “And here are Kyo, Takumi, Mika and Yuchi whom you’ve already met.” Ryota stepped forward and shook their hands.

“Pleased to meet you at last. I love Dir en grey music and your singing especially”, he complimented Kyo and flashed him a beautiful smile. His handshake was almost too strong even if he seemed to be careful with Kyo’s slender fingers. “Welcome to see the studio”, Kyo replied rather formally although his heart was beating slightly too fast.

     Uta gave his brother a short tour around the studio explaining how things worked and what the band was doing at the moment. Ryota stayed to listen to the band playing Elisabeth Addict but then he had to hurry to his next meeting. When leaving the studio he thanked everybody and bowed politely. His keen gaze stayed at Kyo’s eyes a couple of seconds longer than was suitable but Kyo didn’t mind.

      The rehearsals continued normally up to the point when it was time to play Kugui. Kyo started the song sounding a bit off and after first verses his voice broke down. He stood there staring at the lyrics his eyes brimming over with tears. He just couldn’t do it. Uta put down his guitar and walked over to Kyo.

“What is it? Is there a problem with the song?” he asked looking anxious.

“No, there’s nothing wrong with the song. It’s just me. I can’t do this right now”, he mumbled to Uta wiping his eyes with his hand.

“Okay, let’s take another song. We can continue with this one later”, Uta called to other band members and tapped Kyo’s shoulder. “Just take your time. It will be alright”, he whispered to Kyo and left to pick up his guitar again.

      “Thanks for saving my face”, Kyo told Uta when the band had finished their rehearsal. “The lyrics of Kugui are perhaps too potent for me at the moment.”

“That’s alright. Would you like to like to join us for dinner tonight? My brother is leaving tomorrow so we thought a little celebration would be in order”, Uta asked looking a bit unsure.

“That would be very nice. I will have to go home first but I can join you later”, Kyo agreed feeling relieved that he didn’t have to spend this night alone. His mental state was fluctuating between numbness and extreme pain. He probably couldn’t read the poems he had written yesterday so he might as well do something exceptional for him and have fun.


End file.
